my honeymoon period in ACJC have come to an astounding end...

(groans)

i am posted to 1SC9

(more groans)

lessons officially starts MONDAY

(more groans, accompanied with sounds of cursing)


just can't believe that i am not in the same class as any of my ZIRA mates, not even a single one of them!! but...

fortunately, somebody in my secondary school is in the same class as me...

so after a orientation, which is supposed to smooth our transition into lesson, i am still only knowing that one person which i already knew all along!! surely that's a nice orientation!!!



already have had 2 contact time with my class, and i am still not experiencing that THING!!!

the only friends that i knew from my class till now are those hello-byebye kind, which means u visually do not say anything else other than hello and byebye!! thrash!!! seriously hope things will change when lesson start and we start having lectures and tutorial again!!
(although i seriously doubt that, with most people alrd having their cliques and for a selective few who are behaving like tamed animals of the teacher, SCREW YOU....)


but i guess walking into the lecture hall will never be the same again, without my ZIRA mates... people who i have cultivated blossoming friendship with, people who make boring lectures cool and hilarious with all clowny and maybe childish acts/statements, and who could have forgotten the MUT talk/ TAPS-TAPS....

ARghHHH!!!

although i am still assured by the fact that my OG mates are still in the same school as me, but how long our friendships can last really do make me wonder... we are like no longer going to hang out together like everyday, most probably going to meet-up like only once a month, most probably going to just walk past each other mustering only HELLo or BYE!! and most probably we will all already have our new friends in our classes after some time....

i hope my time in ACJC will not be darkened without the presence of my ZIRA mates... they are just like the sunshines of my days....

my class allocation, 
a joke,
haha!!

and yeap, the alumni lunch 2009 have come to a satisfying end and it successfully dawn the end of another gathering, which inevitably signal the long wait for yet another one... thinking about the same exact time last year, we were all in the same class. ironically, it is only till now that i realized that i took that whole routine of coming together for lessons for granted. guess the attempt of rewinding the clock again and again to get myself back into those times will be forever-ly futile and ineffectual. all that can be done is to rekindle old beautiful memories and re-immerse myself into any beautiful thoughts that i could possibly muster out from our time together as a brilliant class 4-5 2008...

the first day of school when i first stepped into the school, i was filled with uncertainties, and loads and loads of questions marks were like popping out!! (boing boing boing!!!)

the last day of orientation when i stepped out of school, i was filled with happiness and loads and loads of highness, finely mixed with a fair share of cranky-ness!!

a smooth transition indeed

*clap clap

and whose "fault" izit?

basically the whole orientation's fault!!!

the dirty games, the mass rallies (which were filled with impromptu rebuttal cheers that are so insulting yet so funny) , the videos of the storyline in the war of the 4 clans (which were what everyone were looking forward to everyday), and namely the OGLs in ZIRA (especially joy who lost her voice, hanlin whose birthday is today and melvin whose charisma and humour which is always present) shall be charged guilty for my smooth transition!! LOLx

without them, no zira = no fun orientation!!! not to forget, all the ziranians that i know thru the whole of this week!! you all are one great bunch of people!!!!! without u people, i believe i wouldn't have enjoyed myself as much as i had!! so my confession at the end of the day? yeah, i love you people BIG TIME!!!

P.S i know i should be charged for excess mushiness and corniness!!!


FOR THE AZLAN CLAN!!! FOR NARNIA!!!! LOLx
azlan azlan azlan azlan woo~lala
hai-yai yai-yai yai-yai-yai
azlan azlan azlan azlan woo~lala
hai-yai yai-yai yai-yai-yai
de de de dum, AZLAN
de de de dum, AZLAN
de de de dum,
de de de dum!!!
 AZLAN

as the car drove past JSS, my gaze was fixed upon it for no apparent reason... my eyes were just reluctant to peel off the whole school compound, guess i was trying to salvage every part of it in my memory. before long, the sight of the school started to become smaller and finally it completely diminished. only then, it dawned on me of how much i miss the school, the unique connection i had established with it after 4 years in the school and how indebted i am to it.

it was the first ever time, i sat and appreciated how much the school have done for me, satisfied with the transformation that i underwent before and after i graduate from the school. some people might not share the same sentiment or the same satisfaction, nor will they ever fully appreciate this school like i do, but i believe some day when they look back, they will at least mutter some words of gratitude for the school...

i have not the slightest idea why, but i find satisfaction uncommon among people...

in the instance of results, people usually find themselves burdened by their own lofty expectations so much that at the end of the day they are oblivious to the heights that they have reached... they find themselves unhappy due to the lofty expectations they have in place for themselves, find themselves buried in sadness when most people would have been happy.

appreciation is such a beautiful virtue, yet at the expense of the stress presented by expectations, it is overlooked...

today is like, totally memorable!!!

can't exactly believe it, went to school all well dressed up, hair spiky and standing, all good sitting down like everybody else awaiting for results.

well, what happens after that was plainly a tale of legends, maybe not really legendary after all...

was first gotten to wash my hair to curb the spikes, then submit myself onto the ground to listen to crap from almost visually everybody on stage!! alright, maybe not that crappy, but the anxiety, the waiting, together with the thrash just doesn't really go well and compliment each other well, don't any of u agree? they just cant go straight to the point, which is to release the results... reversing the whole process will have been so much beta!!

nvm abt that, what happens soon after was like dreadful... the announcement of the top scholars!!!! a easy-going guy like me, last of my class, will never ever dream of shaking the hand of a well, horizontally-challenged principal. after all, we students are always told to be realistic, and a L1R5 score of 27 for prelims doesnt exactly make me think i could ever make it up on that LIST!! but still, as we all know, according to murphyl or something's law, SHIT HAPPENS!! and god, it really happens!!!

elaborating about the rest of stuff wun really help, cuz i dun even know the rest of the stuff!!! i am like on a wave of euphoria, not grasping anything that is happening around me. all i am rather sure of was, i was crapping my ass out of everything, and when i say everything, i meant everything!!! i think jacqueline actually bear the blunt of it!! SoRry!!!

congrats to everybody on a job well done, that is, if ur job is well done!!!

“Trust your instincts”

These 3 words that make up this very phrase look simple on the outside…  Easy to mutter out as an advice, easy to chant it out like it is a magical phrase. But when a decision really arrives, I find myself stuck in a dilemma of whether to trust this very phrase.

And usually whenever my decision takes a turn for the worse, I will always question why I didn’t follow my instinct. It’s not like I can undo it once the decision is made. But this sudden sense of god-knows-what will always pose a question, “Why didn’t I trust my instincts in the very first place?”

So why am I still not convinced that my instincts will ensure that I fall into the right place? I really wish I could answer this. I'm typically a very logical person and this is good and bad sometimes. It's good because I weigh out all the options. It's bad because sometimes I pick up on things and ask questions that have no answer. I believe this is where the current problem lies. I have questions that just can not be answered and because of this, I can not convince myself that something is the right choice. This is just one of the many things I feel are working against me in convincing myself.

So you see, I'm always in a very confused mental state and this will probably be even more affected by the fact that I will probably never get myself convinced of any choice. Unfortunately, if I come to the conclusion that something which definitely isn't the right choice... it's a bit too late.

 

Madness is like gravity, all it takes is just a little push, and a vulnerable self will spin,

And all alone, it will continue whirling…

It hurts to be left alone; it upsets when wild thoughts materialized.

Ironically, these thoughts always come in pairs, inseparable pairs.

It’s like when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, spurring no conclusion.

Peculiarly, these wild thought naturally spawned the creation of questions, plenty of them

Questions that set the brain cells dying endlessly, like a massive potent plague

And yet at the expense of the massive death,

The questions left unanswered increase exponentially.

That it gradually and agonizingly evolve from a page to a book.

And at that very moment, I agreed

Maybe some questions are just better of left unanswered…

 

Sometimes, truth is just so imperfect, and sometimes people deserve more and sometimes, people deserve to have their faith rewarded… and nevertheless most of the time, it does not occur. I guess the world is just plain cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.

and maybe thats why the 25th student council will always be special in our own unique way!!